Real Marriage, Really! (a book review)

Real Marriage: The Truth aobut Sex, Friendship & Life Together
Mark and Grace Driscoll’s new book caught me off guard with its honesty and brave invitation into some of the most intimate details of a very prominent Christian couple’s marriage. It’s pages cover some very traditionally taboo subjects such as infidelity, pre-marital sex, pornography, and, yes, even the technical aspects of sex. No, not a birds and bees kind of sex but a frank discussion on what sex practices are biblical and which are not including a very revealing and interesting discussion on birth control methods which every young Christian should memorize.
What I found good about this book was the concept of reverse-engineering for marriage and the notion of thinking about the last day of your marriage and what you want that to look like. So few married, or unmarried people think about marital goals let alone how they will feel when they leave this life and their spouse. We probably all think about growing old together, but do we think about how we will feel about each other when we’re 80 plus? Better yet, how do you WANT to feel at that point in your married life?
I don’t often read the preface of a book as usually I find them inane and full of information that can best be gathered by, well, reading the book. The title of this particular preface struck me as being different enough to merit a quick read. It was worth it and I recommend that if you do buy this book you also consider what it has to say.
Once that’s out of the way, get ready for some very honest and invaluable information on what biblical marriage really looks like from some people who have truly been there in the “real world” and managed to create marriages that are examples of what we all strive for. This book managed to strip away a lot of preconceived notions of what a Christian marriage was and made me see that I was much closer to what God intended marriage to be that I realized.
I’ve been reading what other reviewers have been saying about the Driscoll’s book and their brave step in discussing a very taboo subject. Sex. I’m rather offended that many Christians believe that Christians have no place discussing sex in a book or, maybe even at all. There are millions of Christians out there who are dying for answers to their questions about what is allowed and what is not. It seems they’d rather all Christians maintain their shame and confusion about this issue than have a frank, and yes potentially embarrassing but necessary discussion about a human act that was ordained by God.
It’s my feeling that the portion of this book that deals with this issue is not only written with sincerity, taste and decorum but addresses a topic long overdue for discussion amongst Christians. The brave act of approaching this subject will hopefully open up a dialogue that should have been open centuries ago. Sex is not evil. It is only the mind of man that makes it so.
You can buy the book at!